It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
An albatross once landed on my head. We were both half asleep at the time. Apparently I was the most likely looking roost within hundreds of miles of ocean. When the albatross realized its mistake, my ears were softly boxed by its 6 foot wingspan as it struggled to gain altitude. It was like being enfolded by the wings of an angle. Fortunately it didn’t poop on my head.
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